People who knew me back then tell me things that surprise me sometimes, like what an angry or intense person I was. It's hard to remember myself that way, but I guess I can see it. I do know that in my mind, the music was noise, frustration, sorrow and rage all lashing out at once. That's how I envisioned every song and how I wanted them to sound. They didn't always end up sounding like that, but it was not just my band. Deron and Amy were both extremely reserved people. Neither was going to scream into microphones or create monstrous noises with their instruments. When we played together, the music literally came off in that way: a concentration of anger surrounded by a blanket of intense reservation. The music ended up sounding not quite as I imagined it would, but also probably more original than what I had in mind.
Lyrically, it was depression, anxiety, paranoia, jealousy, psychosis, murder, suicide and death by heavy machinery. Pretty much everything I was preoccupied with at the time.
This also seems relevant... In the Song Notes sections, I've tried to point out any musical or literary influences, song by song, and there were many. But there is just something about being a teenager and discovering that one band that means more to you than any other. For other kids I knew, it was the Misfits, the Clash, the Smiths, or the Damned. For me it was Big Black. I was in the 10th grade in 1988. I bought the Racer-X EP on cassette at Hastings in the mall. I had read a brief article about the band in Thrasher magazine, so I figured it was a safe purchase. I had no idea what they sounded like. The other cassettes in the rack from this band were intriguing, but I chose this one because it was called "Racer-X", and I had been a fan of Japanese cartoons since childhood. I couldn't stop listening to it. I guess it just blew my mind. So, I got this tape, I quit playing drums, bought a bass guitar, saved up for a drum machine, and started a band. I also bought anything else by this band that I could get my hands on.
There was no other reason for a punker kid to save up for a drum machine. Had I picked out The Hammer Party cassette instead of the Racer-X cassette, I would have never given this band another listen, The Comedian would not have sounded like The Comedian, and I would have had a very different life.
Deron: As Scott says, everyone in our group had their one group that they obsessed over. The others had The Damned, The Clash and The Misfits. I was a follower without one of my own until I discovered The Minutemen. I remember Amy's as being Elvis Costello. Being exposed to Big Black and Rapeman through Scott was a wonderful eye opener. It was more forward looking than most other punk I knew about. It also opened up a way of looking at guitar as a lead instrument without solos. Shaped my playing to this day.
As far as Amy's and my passivity, we had to be 2 of the shyest kids at our school. I know that I was in awe of the fact that Scott and Amy knew notes and were taking music theory. I was lucky to know power chords and certainly wasn't able to improvise.
Amy: When I met Scott, I was a punk neophyte. Besides my dad's ever-present classic rock (particularly The Beatles), I grew up loving the synthesizer-heavy new wave and sparse post-punk I'd heard and seen on early MTV. My favorite bands in 9th and 10th grade were Tears For Fears, Crowded House, Split Enz, OMD, and U2. The summer before 11th grade, 1988, Freddie Oh in my summer school P.E. class introduced me to The Smiths and PiL. By 1989, Elvis Costello released Spike, which opened the door for me to his more rebellious and brilliant back catalog with The Attractions. The versatility of their keyboardist, Steve Nieve, was a big influence on me.
From what I recall, Scott made me two tapes-one at the beginning of our friendship and one near the end of the recording sessions. The first tape was my introduction to Big Black, Rapeman, Skinny Puppy, Sonic Youth, and Ministry-industrial and punk both-and I think the second tape had more of the same. Like Deron, I was floored by Big Black, especially the song "Passing Complexion." Albini and company managed to sound epic, lean, hard, and melodic at the same time, synthesizing what I was used to hearing only in opposites. In terms of unpleasant emotions, my pre-junior year rock/pop influences channeled a passive sadness, whereas these new songs allowed me to own anger, with more of a critical perspective and less overt machismo than the metal my younger sister was into. From there, it was The Clash and The Jesus Lizard…
I was also heavily influenced by movie soundtracks, which found their way into The Comedian keyboard sound. For instance, I remember picking out the theme from Starman shortly after it came out on cable, a sample from which I've recently heard in a hip hop tune on the radio…talk about feeling old!
All three of us were among the most shy at our school, although probably among the most perceptive too. As recently as 9th grade, I had been nervous about something as seemingly small as getting out of my seat to walk to the front of the class to turn in an exam. Accompanying that second cassette from Scott was a short note (along with a soft plastic action figure of sorts and a daily calendar page defining the term "hodad") that included something to the effect of my being the only person he knew shyer than himself!
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